Is the Sanka Ashtray primarily an example of a promotional item, or tobaccania? Is the Elvis Chocolate Tin primarily a container, or a novelty item? Why did we name the Spotted Dogs Figurine and Mule Figurine the way we did if they’re primarily novelty items, not figurines?
Is the Crumb Sweeper an example of tableware, kitchenware, or houseware? Is the Tin Ark a religious item, a handicraft, or a decoration? Why is the Smiling Mug a novelty item, the Halston Mug a promotional item, and the Cat Mug tableware?
Does it dignify the Rainbow Sand Animal too much to describe it as a handicraft?
We asked these and many other knotty questions of the 100 objects from Significant Objects v1. What was the object’s original intended use, purpose, role? What is its quintessence? If we had a filing cabinet for pre-Significant objects, how might we label its drawers? It was far from easy, but we feel fairly confident that each of the 100 objects from SO v1 can be tagged with a single function, from the following list:
- Award
- Container
- Decoration
- Figurine-Animal
- Figurine-Human
- Handicraft
- Houseware
- Kitchenware
- Novelty Item
- Promotional Item
- Religious
- Souvenir
- Tableware
- Tobaccania
- Tool
- Toy
This is not to suggest that, for example, the Pabst Bottle Opener is not simultaneously a promotional item, a tool, and kitchenware. But it is one of these things more than the others, we’ve determined.
Let’s see if you agree, readers. Check out the following table, which is sorted according to Adjusted Sales Rank. How’d we do? And if you agree with our assignment of functions — can you spot any patterns in the data?
| Rank (adj.) | Object | Exposition Type | Author |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Russian Figure | Description | Doug Dorst |
| 2 | Indian Maiden | Sequence | R.K. Scher |
| 3 | Wooden Animal | Sequence | Meg Cabot |
| 4 | "Hawk" Ashtray | Classification | William Gibson |
| 5 | Pink Horse | Description | Kate Bernheimer |
| 6 | Metal Boot | Classification | Bruce Sterling |
| 7 | 4-Tile | Classification | Toni Schlesinger |
| 8 | Cape Cod Shoe | Sequence | Sheila Heti |
| 9 | Duck Tray | Classification | Stewart O'Nan |
| 10 | Wooden Mallet | Classification | Colson Whitehead |
| 11 | Fish Spoons | Sequence | Mark Doty |
| 12 | Fake Banana | Sequence | Josh Kramer (Center for Cartoon Studies) |
| 13 | Cow Vase | Sequence | Ed Park |
| 13 | Missouri Shotglass | Classification | Jonathan Lethem |
| 15 | Kneeling Man Figurine | Classification | Glen David Gold |
| 16 | Rhino Figurine | Description | Nathaniel Rich |
| 17 | Rainbow Sand Animal | Sequence | Sloane Crosley |
| 18 | Meat Thermometer | Classification | Nicholson Baker |
| 18 | Idol | Sequence | Andrew Ervin |
| 20 | Felt Mouse | Sequence | Meghan O'Rourke |
| 21 | Bird Figurine | Description | Sung J. Woo |
| 22 | Ziggy Heart | Classification | Todd Levin |
| 23 | Geisha Bobblehead | Sequence | Edward Champion |
| 23 | BBQ Sauce Jar | Sequence | Matthew J. Wells (Slate Contest Winner) |
| 25 | Ireland Cow Plate | Classification | Sarah Rainone |
| 26 | Necking Team Button | Classification | Susannah Breslin |
| 27 | Rope/Wood Monkey Figurine | Sequence | Kevin Brockmeier |
| 28 | Rooster Oven Mitt | Classification | Victor LaValle |
| 29 | Motel Room Key | Classification | Laura Lippman |
| 30 | Jar of Marbles | Classification | Ben Ehrenreich |
| 31 | Smiling Mug | Description | Ben Greenman |
| 32 | Marines (Upside-Down) Logo Mug | Classification | Tom Vanderbilt (Design Observer) |
| 33 | Maine Statutes Dish | Classification | Ben Katchor |
| 33 | Halston Mug | Classification | Mimi Lipson |
| 35 | Seahorse Lighter | Classification | Aimee Bender |
| 36 | Hand-Held Bubble Blower | Classification | Myla Goldberg |
| 36 | Creamer Cow | Sequence | Lucinda Rosenfeld |
| 36 | JFK Bust | Description | Annie Nocenti |
| 39 | Mr. Pickwick Coat Hook | Sequence | Christopher Sorrentino |
| 39 | Round Box | Sequence | Tim Carvell |
| 41 | Amoco Yo-Yo | Sequence | Mark Sarvas |
| 42 | Miniature Bottle | Sequence | Mark Frauenfelder |
| 42 | Penguin Creamer | Classification | Sari Wilson |
| 44 | Cigarette Case | Sequence | Margot Livesey |
| 45 | Chili Cat Figurine | Classification | Lydia Millet |
| 46 | Alien Toy | Classification | Nomi Kane (Center for Cartoon Studies) |
| 47 | Ocean Scene Globe | Classification | Stephanie Reents |
| 47 | Unicorn | Sequence | Sarah Weinman |
| 49 | Crumb Sweeper | Sequence | Shelley Jackson |
| 50 | Praying Hands | Description | Rosecrans Baldwin |
| 50 | Elvis Chocolate Tin | Classification | Jessica Helfand (Design Observer) |
| 52 | Sanka Ashtray | Sequence | Luc Sante |
| 53 | Tin Ark | Classification | Rebecca Wolff |
| 54 | Windsurfing Trophy/Statue | Classification | Naomi Novik |
| 55 | Pabst Bottle Opener | Sequence | Sean Howe |
| 56 | Spotted Dogs Figurine | Sequence | Curtis Sittenfeld |
| 56 | Santa Nutcracker | Sequence | Kurt Andersen |
| 58 | Foppish Figurine | Description | Rob Baedeker |
| 59 | Kitty Saucer | Classification | James Parker |
| 60 | Piggy Bank | Description | Matthew De Abaitua |
| 60 | Mule Figurine | Description | Matthew Sharpe |
| 62 | Nutcracker with Troll Hair (or something) | Sequence | Adam Davies |
| 62 | Grain Thing | Description | Joanne McNeil |
| 64 | Dome Doll | Sequence | Jason Grote |
| 65 | Popsicle-Stick Construction | Sequence | Sara Ryan |
| 65 | Golf Ball Bank | Sequence | Todd Pruzan |
| 67 | Blue Vase | Sequence | Lauren Mechling |
| 68 | Candyland Labyrinth Game | Sequence | Matthew Battles |
| 68 | Pen Stand | Classification | Lizzie Skurnick |
| 68 | Military Figure | Classification | David Shields |
| 71 | Dilbert Stress Toy | Description | Betsey Swardlick (Center for Cartoon Studies) |
| 72 | Uncola Glass | Sequence | Jen Collins |
| 72 | Choirboy Figurine | Sequence | J. Robert Lennon |
| 74 | Star of David Plate | Sequence | Adam Harrison Levy (Design Observer) |
| 75 | Lighter Shaped Like Small Pool Ball | Sequence | Rob Agredo (SmithMag Contest Winner) |
| 76 | Device | Classification | Tom Bartlett |
| 76 | Cracker Barrel Ornament | Classification | Maud Newton |
| 76 | Sea Captain Pipe Rest | Classification | Michael Atkinson |
| 76 | "Hakuna Matata" Figurine | Classification | Jennifer Michael Hecht |
| 76 | Ornamental Sphere | Classification | Charles Ardai |
| 81 | Cat Mug | Classification | Thomas McNeely |
| 82 | Wave Box | Classification | Teddy Wayne |
| 83 | Toy Toaster | Classification | Jonathan Goldstein |
| 84 | Flip-Flop Frame | Description | Merrill Markoe |
| 85 | Thai Hooks | Sequence | Bruno Maddox |
| 85 | Small Stapler | Sequence | Katharine Weber |
| 87 | Duck Vase | Description | Matthew Klam |
| 88 | Fred Flintstone Pez Dispenser | Description | Claire Zulkey |
| 89 | Basketball Trophy | Sequence | Cintra Wilson |
| 90 | Toy Hot Dog | Classification | Jenny Davidson |
| 91 | Umbrella Trinket | Sequence | Bruce Holland Rogers |
| 92 | Toothbrush Holder | Sequence | Terese Svoboda |
| 93 | Coconut Cup | Sequence | Annalee Newitz |
| 94 | Swiss Medal | Sequence | Kathryn Borel Jr. |
| 95 | #1 Mom Hooks | Sequence | Rachel Berger (Design Observer) |
| 96 | Clown Figurine | Description | Nick Asbury |
| 97 | Kentucky Dish | Sequence | Dean Haspiel |
| 98 | Porcelain Scooter | Sequence | Teddy Blanks (Design Observer) |
| 99 | Hawaiian Utensils | Sequence | Stephen Elliott |
| 100 | Bar Mitzvah Bookends | Sequence | Stacey Levine |
Top Ten objects: 2 human figurines, 2 toys, 1 tobaccania, 1 novelty item, 1 decoration, 1 souvenir, 1 houseware, 1 tool. Which suggests that FUNCTION, on its own, is not a good indicator of significance-potential. Seems all the more likely, then, that narrative plays a key role in adding significance to an object. However, here are a few possible patterns I’ve noticed:
* all animal figurines are in the Top 50; no other object-function is as popular.
* decorations, novelty items, souvenirs, and toys are polarizing functions — there are about as many of each type in the Top 25 as in the Bottom 25.
* there are more souvenirs in the Top 25 than any other single function-type; however, within the Top 25, souvenirs don’t rank particularly high.
* houseware, kitchenware, and tableware seem more or less equally un/inspiring to potential owners.
Readers, what’s your take on the data?
I would like to know how many of the objects have a well-known and widespread phobia associated with them, as I feel there may have been a strong coulrophobic element in the relatively poor performance of my clown figurine. Once this is taken into account, I feel confident that Kenny would be in the top ten.
Q: “How many of the objects have a well-known and widespread phobia associated with them?”
A: All of them.
It’s true about clowns — Nick has a point.
I believe tapinophobia is a fear of small objects, and mythophobia is a fear of stories, so maybe Rob also has a point.
Have you tried categorizing the stories rather than the items? Is there any pattern there WRT sales amount?
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We’re actually working on narrative tags to try to capture story types, or story elements. We haven’t quite done, but we’ll be scrutinizing that data soon.
Why does any object need to have a single function? Seems to me many of the objects in questions have multiple identities. Just like people . . .
They need to have a single function in order to make an easily intelligible table like this one — but I’ll be the first to agree that objects can have more than one function.