Oil Spill Crisis: New York

June 5th is the deadline to enter HiLobrow’s OIL SPILL — WHERE YOU LIVE short-short story contest. Prize money will be donated to a good cause!

THE CHALLENGE: Write a story set in the town or city where you live, but imagine that it (and its surrounding area) has been flooded with several hundred thousand gallons of crude oil daily, because of a drilling-related crisis some weeks earlier.

THE PRIZES: HiLobrow will donate $100 in honor of the contest winner to the Center for Biological Diversity, a nonprofit which seeks to prevent offshore oil spills. (Two-time Significant Objects author Lydia Millet is on the organization’s board.) The winner will also be sent a HiLobrow t-shirt (all sizes except Men’s Large available), and his or her story will be published on HiLobrow.com. Three finalists will also be selected; HiLobrow will donate $50 apiece to CBD for these.

GUIDELINES, HOW TO SUBMIT, ETC.: Click here.

THE CHALLENGE: Write a story set in the town or city where you live, but imagine that it (and its surrounding area) has been flooded with several hundred thousand gallons of crude oil daily, because of a drilling-related crisis some weeks earlier. You might find using the interactive Gulf Coast Oil Spill Map helpful in this eco-catastrophic exercise, but it’s not a requirement.

THE PRIZES: HiLobrow will donate $100 in honor of the contest winner to the Center for Biological Diversity, a nonprofit which seeks to prevent offshore oil spills. (Two-time Significant Objects author Lydia Millet is on the organization’s board.) The winner will also be sent a HiLobrow t-shirt (all sizes except Men’s Large available), and his or her story will be published on HiLobrow.com. Three finalists will also be selected; we’ll donate $50 apiece to CBD for these.

THE GUIDELINES: No more than 250 words. Only one story per person. Stories featuring explicit/hardcore/extreme sex and/or violence will not be considered. Curse words OK, though, if necessary. Stories replete with spelling and/or grammatical errors will not be considered. Do not include a title.

HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR STORY: Post it to the comments section of “City on a Spill,” a story I wrote last week. The deadline is 5 p.m. (EST) on June 5th. NOTE: Content published on HiLobrow.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

THE JUDGES: The stories will be judged by HiLobrow.com editors Matthew Battles and Joshua Glenn, and HiLobrow’s Magister Ludi, Patrick Cates.

Oil Spill Crisis: New York

Over at our sister site, HiLobrow, Patrick Cates has announced a third micro-fiction contest. The theme: TELEPATHY.

The deadline for submissions is 9p.m. EST on Sunday, April 25., so act fast!

THE GUIDELINES: No more than 250 words. Only one story per person. Stories featuring explicit/hardcore/extreme sex and/or violence will not be considered. Curse words OK, though, if necessary. Stories replete with spelling and/or grammatical errors will not be considered. Do not include a title.

HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR STORY: Please email your story to microfiction@hilobrow.com. NOTE: Content published on HiLobrow.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

THE JUDGES: The stories will be judged by HiLobrow.com editors Matthew Battles and Joshua Glenn, and HiLobrow’s Magister Ludi, Patrick Cates.

THE PRIZES: The Victor Ludi (contest winner) will be sent a HiLobrow t-shirt and his or her story will be published on HiLobrow.com. The story will also be featured on the fourth episode of HiLobrow’s Radium-Age Science Fiction podcast, “Parallel Universe: Pazzo.”

BONUS: One of the finalists from our most recent contest claims that HiLobrow’s micro-fiction contests are a terrific cure for writer’s block.

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READ the winning story from HiLobrow’s first microfiction contest.

READ the winning story from HiLobrow’s second microfiction contest.

READ about Radium-Age telepathy-themed science fiction.

READ ORIGINAL SCIENCE FICTION on HiLobrow.

In January, I announced a micro-fiction contest over at HiLobrow.com, an intellectual/literary website that I edit with Matthew Battles. We recently appointed Patrick Cates the site’s Magister Ludi (Master of Games), and yesterday Mr. Cates announced a second micro-fiction contest. The deadline for submissions is March 31, at 5 pm EST, so act fast!

THE THEME: Radium-Age Apocalypse. The story should (a) be apocalyptic, i.e., either the world or life as we know it should be shattered; and (b) it should either be set in the 1900-35 era (science fiction’s Radium Age), or be written from the perspective of that era — i.e., without knowledge of any post-1935 historical events, social-cultural transformations, or technological developments. Please read guidelines (word count limit, language, how to submit) here.

Read more about Radium-Age apocalyptic fiction here.

THE JUDGES: The stories will be judged by HiLobrow.com editors Matthew Battles and Joshua Glenn, and HiLobrow’s Magister Ludi, Patrick Cates.

THE PRIZE: The author of the winning story will receive a HiLobrow t-shirt, and her story will be illustrated and published on HiLobrow; we’ll also record the story for the next episode of “Parallel Universe: Pazzo,” our monthly Radum-Age science fiction podcast. A few honorable mentions will be awarded; those stories will also be published on HiLobrow.

THE PODCAST: Boston-area readers of Significant Objects and HiLobrow are invited to the next podcast taping party, on April 2.

Matthew Battles, Matthew De Abaitua, and I selected Charles Pappas’ story from a pool of over 225 entries. Here’s the illustration we commissioned, for the winning story, from our talented friend Rick Pinchera:

Intrigued? Read the story! And stay tuned, because Hilobrow.com will be announcing another micro-fiction contest soon.

Over at Hilobrow.com, a critical-culture website that I coedit with Matthew Battles, we’ve just invited our readers to enter a science-fiction short-short story contest. We’d be delighted to have Significant Objects readers enter, as well. Check it out.

CONTEST DEADLINE: February 15 (soon!)

STORY LENGTH: No more than 250 words

STORY THEME: troubled and/or troubling superhumans

THE JUDGES: Hilobrow.com editors Matthew Battles and Joshua Glenn; and Hilobrow.com contributor Matthew De Abaitua, author of the award-winning 2009 sci-fi novel The Red Men and a presenter for the British TV series SF:UK.

PRIZE: Hilobrow t-shirt; story published on Hilobrow.com and recorded as part of a podcast. A few runners-up will be published on the website, also.

CONTEST GUIDELINES & MORE CLICK HERE

So far we’ve had six stories contributed to our Fictionaut group, all about this music box. Fictionaut community feedback hasn’t really anointed a clear champion — maybe you’d like to weigh in?

The stories (click the title to read) are:

• “In Small Packages,” by Sabra Wineteer
• “Mercy,” by Jennifer Howard
• “Music Box” by Marcy Dermansky
• “Valley Rugstore,” by Nicholas Rombes
• “Birthday Music,” by Lynn Chakoian
• “The Gift” by Sari Cunningham

I really enjoy reading multiple stories about the same object; interesting to see the different approaches different writers take. But since a big part of the point of dabbling in the world of Fictionaut is to be community-minded about things, I figured I’d see if our community — you, that is — has anything to say about these. (And I’m sure you won’t get troll-y on me, will you?)

Also I have more Fictionaut invites for anyone interested in joining up: rwalker@significantobjects.com.

PS if you missed my earlier Q&A with Fictionaut’s Nicolle Elizabeth, it’s here.

Last month, I said that if enough of you wrote a six-word story about the Scottish Doll, an object purchased for Significant Objects but then thrown into the garbage, I’d pick a winner and issue a prize. Forty-odd stories later, we have a winner.

In the end, there was one obvious winner, in my judgment: Diane Kimbrell. Here’s her story:

A Highland “Fling” into the garbage!

Diane wins a Significant Objects Mug mug. Congratulations to Diane, and thanks to everyone who entered the contest. Let’s do another one soon…

PS: Matthew Battles’ riff on Hemingway’s six-word story was funny: “For sale: one wee sporran, unused.” But Battles contributed to Significant Objects v1, and he’s a friend of mine, and coeditor (with me) of Hilobrow.com. So I disqualified him. Sorry, Matt!

PPS: I didn’t find the salacious stories too funny — I mean, at what point, as a civilization, can we stop tittering about men in kilts?

I say “sorta” because although there really is a contest, the winning story won’t be posted to eBay. Why not? Because the Scottish Doll was thrown away, and therefore can’t be sold on eBay.

Read about the Scottish Doll’s fate here, and then post your 6-word story to the comments section of that post. (Not this one!) At some point soon, a winning story will be picked, and a prize will be awarded.

The stuff shown in this photo was collected one day in April 2009, at a thrift store in the Boston neighborhood of Roslindale, at a time when Rob and I were still figuring out the guidelines for what sorts of objects to purchase for the Significant Objects experiment. We didn’t always follow our own guidelines, but they went something like this:

* The object shouldn’t cost us more than $3.

* No furniture, clothing, or other stuff that doesn’t seem sufficiently object-like. Should be something you can hold in the palm of your hand, something that can be displayed on a bookshelf or mantelpiece. Should photograph well, and be easy to ship (i.e., not too heavy).

* Not too many examples of midcentury-thru-1980s pop culture ephemera — or else, after a certain point, the experiment will start to look a kitsch collection, or an exercise in nostalgia. Not too many toys, novelty items, or promotional items, for the same reason.

* Not too many travel souvenirs — because the significance of souvenirs is all too obvious. (Of course, a writer can invent counterintuitive significance for a travel souvenir.) And no art, whether “fine,” “bad,” “outsider,” or “readymade.” Why? Because an art object isn’t merely an object, it’s an object intended to be significant, meant to be interpreted. Which takes the fun out of our project.

* Not too many dolls, or figurines (human or animal), because anything with a face is an obvious magnet for significance-investment.

Every single object shown in the photo above flouts one of our guidelines. The Sanka Ashtray (the very first story we published) is a promotional item. The Pen Stand is an example of midcentury pop culture ephemera (sort of). The Smiling Mug (which became an emblem of the experiment, after numerous bloggers writing about Significant Objects used it as an illustration) is a novelty item. The Toy Hot Dog is a toy. And the Kneeling Man Figurine is a human figurine. Oh, well. Nobody’s perfect.

But what you really want to know is: What about that Scottish Doll? It never went up for sale at all! Fair enough. Here’s the deal: nobody wanted to write about it. We offered it to at least a dozen writers, and got no takers. Why? Perhaps because it’s (a) midcentury pop culture ephemera, (b) a toy, (c) a travel souvenir, and (d) a doll. That is to say, it’s just too laden with pre-made significance; it would require a herculean effort to write something interesting about it. Maybe. We’ll never know, I guess, because a few months ago I got sick of looking at the damn thing and threw it into the garbage.

Via a poem by Robert Burns, let us now bid farewell to the Scottish Doll:

Farewell, dear friend ! may guid luck hit you,
And, ‘mang her favorites admit you!
If e’er Detraction shone to smit you,
May nane believe him.
And ony De’il that thinks to get you,
Good Lord deceive him.

We published our winner yesterday: Read (and bid!) here.

It was, of course, an excruciating choice. Peruse the 400+ entries here and see what you think. Our runners up (in no specific order) are as follows:

He smoked me, I just smoked.
— Cameron Vest; Reston, Virginia

Old flame. Great rack. Plays game.
— Paul de Denus, Santa Rosa Beach, Florida

“Fire ball…….

colliding………Earth………

remain ca…”
— Kritika Kushwaha, New Delhi, India

“Never needed those eyebrows. Your rack?”
— Pete Sosalski

“After pool table sex, smoked cigarettes.”
— Kelly Kreth

And we’ll have another Significant Object and its story late this afternoon, as well. Big day!

Six Words Will Make It Significant

That said, we of course want the submissions to keep coming, and to that end I will now invoke our old friend the profit motive. Let’s say your Six-Word story, attributing significance to the tiny-pool-ball-shaped lighter at right, prevails. That means you get the money when we auction it off in our shop. Let’s say it fetches the median price of all the auctions we’ve closed so far — which happens to be $23.50. That works out to $3.92 a word. That’s Conde Nast territory. (Actually it might better than Conde Nast territory these publishing-slump days.)

Meanwhile, the auction for the story/object that won our earlier Slate contest is currently at $54. Match that and you’re talking $9 a word. That’s a superstar writer rate!

Of course we can’t guarantee what the Object will go for. That depends on factors beyond our control. But come up with the right Six Words and … who knows? Give it a shot.

Create its Significance -- in Six Words

Maybe you’ve encountered SmithMag‘s Six-Word explorations in the past:  Inspired by a (mythical?) challenge, Ernest Hemingway supposedly concocted a meaningful short story in a mere half-dozen words (“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”). Inspired by that, SmithMag.net challenged its readers to create six-word memoirs, leading to the best-selling book Not Quite What I Was Planning, and a series of popular follow-ups and reader challenges.

Six Words proved everyone has a story, and of course Significant Objects believes every thing has a story, too. (Hemingway’s story was, after all, about an object.) Or it can, even if you have to make one up.

So what about the object above? It’s a lighter that looks like a small pool ball. But what’s its story?

You tell us. Leave your Six-Word Significance for the above object in the comments to this post at at SmithMag.net. (Don’t leave it on this site.) The best response will be published on the Significant Objects site — and more to the point, in our eBay store. Proceeds from that auction go to to the author of the winning submission.

The deadline: Friday, November 6, 8 pm Eastern. Head over to SmithMag and enter now.

Wells invented Significance for the BBQ Sauce Jar by way of a thrilling and chilling tale involving the real-life murder of architect Stanford White by Harry Kendall Thaw (the husband of White’s ex-lover, chorus girl and model Evelyn Nesbit). How did he do that, exactly? Well, you’ll get the answer to that when we post his story momentarily (both here, and of course in our eBay shop). The story will also be published by Slate.

As you’ve probably guessed if you’ve been following this, the final decision was difficult; we had a lot of very strong entries. The judges selected 12 finalists, so there are 11 runners-up: David Abrams, Tom Bradstreet, Alex Chapman, Rodrigo Chavez, Erin Ellia, Jason M. Fernandes, Joseph Lyons, Francesca Petty, Hepzibah Phreake, David Popple, and Alan Rodriguez-Ponce. Our congratulations go out to them, as well — and our sincere thanks to everyone who participated.

We asked Wells, a playwright currently writing the history of an imaginary New York Bar called The Naughty Pine, what his interest in the Stanford White murder case was. “I’ve always been fascinated by New York City history, and the Stanford White murder was probably the first of many Trials Of The Century…” he said. “I also get a thrill out of thinking that, because Evelyn Nesbit survived into the ’60s, she could very well have met up with Joan Collins before Collins starred as Nesbit in 1955′s The Girl In The Red Velvet Swing. That’s right up there on my list of one-acts to write when I get some free time.”

Next, of course, we’ll find out what happens when Wells’ Significant Object goes up for sale. We asked Wells: If he could give displaying instructions to the BBQ Sauce jar’s winning bidder and future owner, what would they be? He replied: “‘The Management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone who uses the contents of this jar for any other purpose but the application of barbecue sauce on a plate of ribs.’”

Congrats again to Wells and the 11 runners-up, and sincere thanks to everyone who participated. Significant Objects also thanks Slate.com for hosting this contest!

PS: In a photo of Nesbit found at Wikipedia, she’s clutching what looks like… a significant object! Perhaps it’s the very pitcher she used (if Wells’ story is to be believed) to wash BBQ sauce from Thaw’s bloody face, or from other body parts.

No such luck, I’m afraid. Why? Because Slate received a staggering 600+ entries! That’s right: over 600 Slate readers wrote a story about an insignificant object object that I’d purchased at a thrift store, this summer, for 75 cents. This overwhelming response validates our project’s hypothesis, and demonstrates just how imaginative and talented Slate‘s readers, not to mention those Significant Objects fans who entered the contest, truly are.

Every day of this past week, Rob and I worked with Slate‘s editors to read all 600+ stories. We’ve succeeded in winnowing the vast pool of entries down to 12 surprising, inventive, and stylish stories — any one of which we’d be proud to publish. Next comes the most difficult part: selecting a single winner out of the pool of finalists. So we’re taking the weekend to make that tough decision.

Stay tuned! The winning entry will be published at Slate and right here, early next week.

Patiently awaiting your Significance.

Don’t sleep, people: The deadline for our Significant Objects Story Contest is fast approaching: Submit a 500-word story featuring the object pictured above (a barbecue sauce jar) by Friday Oct. 16 at 5 p.m. That’s tomorrow!

As a reminder, our esteemed partner in this venture is none other than Slate.com. All stories must be submitted to Slate (details below). A panel of judges consisting of Slate editors and SignificantObjects.com‘s Rob Walker and Josh Glenn will select the winning entry, which will be published on both websites — and, of course, on eBay, where it will serve as the item description for the BBQ Sauce Jar.

Proceeds from the eBay auction will — as always — go to the story’s author. Which could be you!

Slate explains the contest parameters here:

You’ll write a short story (500 words or fewer) in which this object plays an important role. (Please do not make reference to the fact that the object is being sold on eBay, and do not mention the penny that appears in the photo for scale — the story’s plot should be independent of the project’s context.) The stories must be e-mailed to Slate (slatesignificantobjects@gmail.com) by Oct. 16 at 5 p.m. Please also tell us your full name and the city and state you’re writing from. All submissions may be quoted — and attributed to their author — in a follow-up article on Slate announcing the winning entry.

Click on over to Slate for all the details.

Go ahead -- make it Significant.

You requested an opportunity to write a story for SignificantObjects.com, so here it is: the Significant Objects Story Contest! Submit a 500-word story featuring the object pictured above (a barbecue sauce jar) by next Friday (Oct. 16) at 5 p.m., and you may be the lucky winner!

We’re excited to announce that our partner in this venture is Slate.com. All stories must be submitted to Slate (details below). A panel of judges consisting of Slate editors and SignificantObjects.com‘s Rob Walker and Josh Glenn will select the winning entry, which will be published on both websites — and, of course, on eBay, where it will serve as the item description for the BBQ Sauce Jar. Proceeds from the eBay auction will — as always — go to the story’s author.

Here’s your chance to join the likes of William Gibson, Curtis Sittenfeld, Nicholson Baker, Myla Goldberg, Colson Whitehead, and many other talents who’ve transformed an insignificant (or shall we say: pre-significant) object into a significant one.

Slate explains the contest parameters here:

You’ll write a short story (500 words or fewer) in which this object plays an important role. (Please do not make reference to the fact that the object is being sold on eBay, and do not mention the penny that appears in the photo for scale — the story’s plot should be independent of the project’s context.) The stories must be e-mailed to Slate (slatesignificantobjects@gmail.com) by Oct. 16 at 5 p.m. Please also tell us your full name and the city and state you’re writing from. All submissions may be quoted — and attributed to their author — in a follow-up article on Slate announcing the winning entry.

Click on over to Slate for all the details.

October 16 — that’s a week from today. Get cracking!

Think you can write a great 500-word story in which the item pictured above (a BBQ Sauce Jar) features significantly? You’ll get an opportunity to do so, soon. A well-known online magazine is going to judge a Significant Objects fiction contest — the winning story will be published by the magazine, and also on this site, and (naturally) on eBay when we auction off the BBQ Sauce Jar. Stay tuned for more details about the contest!