Dear readers:

A select number of you have not only enjoyed reading our stories, you have won auctions and obtained actual Significant Objects.

A Google News Alert received today at S.O. Headquarters (South) leads to this vital information from an article (disastrously) titled: “Make Back Pain Management Half of Your Life“:

Correct techniques for lifting

When lifting significant objects it’s important the heaviest half is close to the body. Keep your back straight and hold objects shut to your body.

Got it?

The article also contains advice for owners of “serious objects.” But that’s not our problem.