No. 16 of 50 — Significant Objects v3

[The auction for this object, with story by Kirsten Miller, has ended. Original price: $1.49. Final price: $35.00. Significant Objects will donate the proceeds from this auction to Girls Write Now.]

This dome doll was purchased three years ago for $1.07 (including tax) at a Dollar Store in the Chattahoochee Shopping Center in Knoxville, Tennessee. It was originally part of a pair. On the bottom of the package (now discarded) I found a sticker with the message : “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, BREAK GLASS.”

The dolls also came with the following instructions written in both English and Flemish. I have scanned the English side for you. If you would prefer Flemish, please let me know. Read the instructions carefully before use.

(Those who dislike following instructions should refer to page A3 of the February 18^th edition of the Knoxville News Sentinel.)

INSTRUCTIONS:

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of twin dome dolls. Their names are Saakje and Saertgen. Treat them with love and respect, and they’ll be your most loyal companions.

Keep one dome doll on your person at all times. They prefer a pocket, but a purse will do.

Dome dolls thrive in temperatures between 60 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Extreme heat or cold can cause cracks in the glass, which may lead to an unintentional release.

If you must travel by air, DO NOT pack your dome dolls in your luggage.

Never subject your dome dolls to the following: Fire, microscopes, foul language, infants, deep water, x-rays, excessive whining, the TSA, ammonia-based cleaning sprays, or French accents.

To break the glass, place a dome doll under the heel of one shoe. Apply even pressure. Do not hurl or bash. Once the glass breaks, remove heel immediately and take two steps to the left.

Close your eyes and do not inhale for five full seconds. (Best when used in a well-ventilated space.)

Once you are able to open your eyes, leave the scene as quickly as possible. Resist the urge to take pictures or videos.

Phone the authorities when you’ve reached a safe distance. Do not identify yourself.

IMPORTANT:

Use only in emergency situations. The effects are permanent and cannot be altered or reversed by pleading or crying, no matter how sincere.

Each dome doll is single use only. Do not attempt to remove a doll from the scene of an emergency. Once free, they must remain free.

Keep away from children under the age of eight. Not intended for use by individuals over the age of thirty. Sale prohibited in the Netherlands.